Getting There - The War Wages On

It has been nearly a year since I started blogging my journey with Christ. I would have liked to have written more posts, but living life is much more fruitful than documenting it. The past year has been a whirlwind of struggles and triumphs - more triumphs, though. 

When I look back, and look inward, I see the same struggle of self rearing its ugly head. It's not as often, and it is more easily defeated than before. This, I thank God for. 

God has helped me grow. Knowing more of who God is and how much he loves me is what has awakened the best of me. Notice that God loves me, present tense. God didn't love me once and forget about me. He isn't waiting for me to be perfect and worthy of His love. He loves me now! He always has. God was waiting for me - to seek Him. 

I'm seeking Him, more now than ever. I want to be on fire for God. I want to be a man of God. I want to constantly live in the knowledge of his love towards me. I want to seek a relationship with Him. I want to shout that I AM GOD'S PEOPLE! 

Creator of heaven and earth. A God so mighty, he holds the universe in the palm of His hand. A God who so loved the world, He gave His only Son - He died so we may live! God made the rainbow to show His promise. What can I make to show my love for God!

Hope Comes in the Morning.

I want to be stirred up. I want to be full of God. I pray that my focus is on Him. The more I listen to a teaching on the word, or read scripture, the more alive I feel. The problem areas in my life are solved when my attention is turned to The Lord.

I have been dealing with doubt and self-centeredness, which before I have noted lead to grief. The world has started to rule my thoughts and make it difficult to have joy. I haven't been pleasant to be around either. Diving back into the word of God and His perfect love, has revealed to me the gifts that I have. I have been granted care over the most amazing children I could ever ask for. I have been blessed with the most wonderful wife, who has become my best friend and partner in this journey. God has also granted me prosperity, both in health and finances. I am so thankful for these gifts, and know they are only possible through Jesus Christ.

It is always darkest before the dawn, but hope comes in the morning. In my darkest hours, God is there. When it feels like it would be easy to give up, I want to remember that God will not challenge me with more than I can handle. I was made for this life! How awesome is that?

I want to continue to seek The Lord for truth, and knowledge of His love, so that I may be an example of God's perfect love. Lord, I thank you for loving me first, and blessing me.

focus on HIM

It just has to be. So many times I want to put the focus on myself. I look to the world for answers, gratification, reassurance. Just about 100% of the time, the world gives me lies. The world tells me I'm a failure, that I can never win and am destined to suffer.

Wait! Why does it seem like the world is so against me?

Personally, I think the world is jealous. Simply put, I know God loves me and thinks I'm pretty great. The world doesn't have that. The world is fallen and full of sinners. I'm a sinner just like all the rest of the world, but I have the greatest love of all - God! When I put my focus back on Him, amazing things happen. It's inside of me and even reflected on the outside. My whole day, and life turns out so much better when I focus on God and what His son Jesus did to save me.

Here's a reminder, to myself, focus on Him. Give thanks to God, and praise Jesus each and every day. Make the choice to focus on God and I will BE the new creation that He made me.

Amen!

Be real.

I haven't had a post in a couple weeks. Truth be told, I couldn't think of what to write about. Why now, am I thinking of what to blog about? I want to express my journey as a man, devout to living a life for Christ and further seeking Him. It's simple, and uncomplicated, so why am I adding this degree of difficulty?

My wonderful wife lent me a bit of insight - just be real. I love her for this honesty, and I cherish her as my best friend.

Here's the real. I have to be real and not a facade. It's finding my identity. My God lends me insight to my identity on a daily basis, but I need to seek Him for that information. I haven't been engaged in the word as much as I had been, or as much as I should. The strange thing is, I have an aching desire to spend time in the word and communicate with God - I miss it.

Focusing on God, and further seeking knowledge of my identity in Him makes each day better. I feel stronger, smarter, healthier and generally have a much better outlook on everything. When I think of all the great things I can do, I thank God for these abilities. I can fix cars, I can cook, I can do business, I can love, I can be a best friend, I can be a great father - I can be a great man!

The Husband. Loves - Learns.

If it were easy it wouldn't be worth it. It's hard to explain in words or detail just how special and rewarding it is to be married. Giving your life to someone and living to serve them over yourself is a huge honor and a tough job. Of course, this is if you live, and are married, following God's word. I don't come close to loving and treating my wife the way God wants me to. Needless to say, I am learning and growing along the way. It will be two years tomorrow since I married my best friend, a woman who I am blessed to have been led to. I feel there was definitely a divine plan for my wife and I coming together. Our lives crossed probably more times than we realize before we finally started dating. Once we dated, I was certain she was the one for me. It was this feeling of "where have you been all my life?!", and that's an understatement.

Over the past two years, we have grown closer together and stronger as a couple. There have been many areas of my own life and thinking that have been brought to the surface by God so that I could deal with them. It hasn't always been sunshine and rainbows, but I would be lost right now if I couldn't come home to my love. She means so much to me, and makes me feel free! I am truly, madly, deeply (excuse the 90's song reference) in love with my wife, and want to live each day for her and my family and God. I am blessed beyond my comprehension by getting to be her husband!

I'm learning, how to live for Christ, how to love my wife the way God wants me to. I'm loving every minute of it! I love you, Rachelle, forever. Here's to many more years to come!

The Dad. Cooks!

I have always loved cooking. One of the biggest joys I find in cooking is making something that everyone likes. It's such a great feeling to create a dinner that your family enjoys eating and is actually good food. Cooking gives me a chance to give rather than get. It's important to be selfless, and give to my family when I can.

This was a difficult area for me, and I struggled with it for some time. I wasn't used to doing or giving, and doing so with the right motive. Now the variable here is the motive. I was a big fan of giving and doing, but I wanted something in return - some sort of praise or favor. God is helping me develop as a joyful giver and a blessing. I want to bless my family, first and foremost. As the man and provider of my home, it's easy to get lost in the world and start thinking of me - all that I do and what do I get in return. This isn't what God wants. God wants me to bless my family and praise His name. This isn't natural but since I'm born again God is helping me with this issue as I seek His wisdom. I tell you, it feels great though. To give and provide, and then want to bless my family as much as I can, and lesson the urge to expect something in return. If I allow God to use me as a blessing, He will bless me and my family so much more!

**Tonight's dish, by the way, was Tia's favorite - verde chicken tacos!

3 chicken breasts covered in Weber Kick'n Chicken seasoning and taco seasoning - grill it!

Several tomatillos, poblano and jalapeño peppers - grill 'em! Then blend them with some kosher salt, lime juice, pepper and white wine vinegar.

Cut up the chicken, put some in a soft taco shell, cover it with the salsa verde - onions - cheese. Make it your own, and enjoy it!

Bicycle ride.

I don't remember the first time I rode a bike. I don't remember - or even know - if my parents had one of those little baby seats that attach to the back of a bike. My best friend let me borrow his, since his boys are too big or too small for it. I took my son Joel on a ride today, just the two of us. It felt so great to be riding along with my little man right there behind me. He could stand to keep his helmet on this time. This was the second outing in his baby bike seat. The first time in it, the whole family went. This time, just us.

While we were riding along, I felt this connection, even though I couldn't see him all the time or hold him, I felt as one. He is my son and I love him. There is no doubt of my love for my son. I am so blessed to be a father and enjoy his company, even though he is only two weeks shy of one year old. Imagine my love for my son, this unconditional, far reaching, surpassing, connected love. I do my best for this little guy, and hope that I give him all the love that I can. I imagine then, the extent of the love God has for me. God is flawless, eternal, unconditional, everlasting, eternal and unchanging. His love is the ultimate display of affection, so great that I cannot even comprehend it. It is His word that helps me to understand His love for me.

A week ago, my wife and I were at a Gospel Truth Conference. This was our first trip away since we've had Joel. We both missed him dearly. While worshipping, I closed my eyes and imagined lifting Joel up in my arms and holding him against my shoulder. He loves this, and will rest his head against my shoulder - so precious! Then, God showed me that His love is like mine for my son, only greater and unchanging. I thought how could God love ME so much? I'm flawed, I make mistakes, and I'm certain I disappoint. God still loves me! Gaining more affirmation and revelation of God's love for me has been huge. Many situations with my family and especially with being a father to a son, have brought me into better understanding of God's love.

I realize more each day, that He loves me and desires nothing more than to comfort me in His arms. Thank you Father, praise God!